To be single or couple?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sometimes, I miss the freedom of being single. When your time is all yours; you can plan about your future without consulting it to someone, manage your own career; do every hobby that you’re interested in. Nobody is going to contradict your decisions; nobody to fight with on a regular basis; no complications – just a simple single life.

Whenever I think so, I’d always counter my own thoughts. I realized my life has never been the same with my boyfriend for two years now. Even though it’s a little complicated, it is worth it. Being in the right relationship has made me happier; not that I was unhappy and depressed when I was alone, but sharing my life with somebody has made it lighter and more meaningful. The sorrows, burden, anxiety were divided while joy is multiplied by a hundred percent. It is just a wonderful feeling to be in love and securely know that you are being loved. It’s not the wonder of the feeling but the feeling it begets.

Life is better when it is shared. You are I, we were made for relationships. Two is better than one. When one falls down, the other one picks him up. Nothing beats knowing that whatever problem you will face, there is always somebody sharing it with you. So even if the future is gloomy, even when strong bleak winds start to blow you away, there’s a hand that holds you firm, eases your fears and dries your tears away.

Time and time again, we fail. We make mistakes. We stumble on even the littlest obstacles on our way. We need somebody to support and encourage us; somebody to constantly cheer us up, somebody who tells us, You can do it, I believe in you… you can fly, mount up your wings and soar high.”

In my deepest grief, most fatal failures, when I was my ugliest… my boyfriend was there to encourage me. He was my strength when I was frail and had trouble standing up on my own… he believed that I can make all my dreams come true. He prayed for my success and rejoiced every time I triumphed. I look back and am grateful to God for giving me somebody as wonderful and kind as my boyfriend. I have no regrets in committing my life with him, and I always tell him… “I know I can live without you, but it will not going to be as meaningful and as happy if you were in it.” I just don’t want to imagine how my life is without him. Let me clarify though, being in a relationship is not always happy. You are not in cloud nine everyday. The other person has faults and flaws as well. Sometimes, he forgets his promises and at times I feel taken for granted. I've been hurt a lot of times... and there were many sacrifices I had to make... as well as sufferings to endure. It is impossible to love without getting hurt in the process.

In life we go through many phases. We go through a lot of transitions. If you are single now and happy, be thankful for it. If you are in a relationship or marriage in trouble… consider if you can endure it or say good bye to it. If you are single and want someone to be with… well, start looking. It is hard to find that person if you are only at home. Meet new people everyday. Go out. Go on a travel. Join communities. Indulge yourself in a new hobby… anything that would allow you to meet more people. Try online dating sites. True.com for example, makes sure that you will have a safe online dating experience. They also give tips to improve your chances of bumping into the “right one”. Just sign up and search for free! Who knows, you might meet him/her there.

As you try to search for your partner let me give you some piece of thoughts:
  1. Don't pursue a relationship unless you are ready and prepared for it.
  2. Sincerely pray for wisdom and direction.
  3. Guard your heart. Don’t let your heart fall for someone right away. Don’t let the giddy emotions cloud your decision. If you are head over heels in love, it might obscure the fact that the person is a poor choice for you. Test your compatibility.
  4. Let circumstances guide you in finding that person. You will weed out through many frogs before you find your true prince or princess but don't let that deter you in finding him or her.
  5. Don't be idle while searching/waiting. Get busy. Find a good stable job or if still in school pursue your studies first.
  6. Have a realistic expectation of life and love. Love takes time to grow so you need to be patient.
  7. Don’t worry, God has a plan for your life and be excited on how he will work out His plan for you… and how he will craft your own love story. Just get ready and prepare your self for the thrill.
As for those who have happily loving someone ... hope our love will last until the end. Kudos!

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12 comment(s):

Nyl said...

all these..i affirm.

pchi said...

@Nyl

Wow, you can relate...

I am happy :-)

*big smile*

Nanaybelen said...

in every relationship, there is always ups and down, so expect the unexpected

iceah said...

nice to hear that you are happy c: start with friendships then choose c: don't look for your perfect mr. right but be the ms. right first. wag maghanap the Lord will put you in each others arms c: the Lord has ways we can not imagine and yes he knows what His plan is for you. you may not understand it now c:

mabuti you can share eachothers burdens and the good thing din at very olus factor ay pareho kayo ng beliefs maybe not on all things but you have one common factor c: si Lord c:

The Lord bless your love and friendship more c:

pchi said...

@nanay belen

that's so true nanay belen, is that based on your personal experience?

I just hope we won't have issues with a third party

@iceah

that's a nice addition, thanks for that

yes, we share the same faith but we also had issues before on that area...

actually we don't go to the same church now

but we know we are looking in the same direction

jong ladaga said...

well that is true with married life. You sometimes miss being single. but when i look at my daughter, she is evidence enough that my wife is the one for me. Challenges are always there and it involves a deep commitment and trust with each other to go through it all.

pchi said...

@Jong

thanks for that point of view. It makes me realize how different marriage is from a relationship, you really need to work it out

and I am happy that your daughter has been a constant reminder of you and your wife's love for each other

Tigis said...

actually i'm not really sure if I'm who's still single now can have a better life if i'll be couple. But maybe what you said is true, you have the highs and lows. Depends on how you see it and most importantly take it as a part in your life.

Gem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gem said...

Very nice post. You did it well. And this one is sponsored. Well done! Exactly my point when you raised that issue on paid vs non paid blogs.

Indeed, life is often better to be shared. You know a lot about my confessions in my other blog. It is difficult to live a single life - you still tend to find some friends.

"Have a realistic expectation of li(f)e and love." I like that. I will remember that.

pchi said...

@tigis

yeah, the results differ with people, case to case basis

and your compatibility with another person also differs

I think it is really important to choose to be happy whether single or not

I still think couple is better

^__^

pchi said...

@gem

thanks for that compliment

I actually thought of your posts while doing that... I realized the difference in perspective

But I know also some people who are happy exactly as they are single... you worry about them but they are not...

I am thinking maybe some people are also "gifted" to have "singleblessedness"

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