Factors to consider when planning to get married

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I've been getting mixed reactions when people know that my boyfriend and I have already been planning about getting married. Although it would not be so soon, some people have expressed their disappointment thinking that I'll be wasting many things and opportunities by deciding to get hooked. Some supportive people also, like our parents and blogger friends have been encouraging us that with the right foundation in love and in God, we could venture into a more difficult and most fulfilling level of our relationship that people call "marriage".

I guess there's no greater guide book in marriage than the Bible. The Bible is silent on many things such as:
a. when is the right age to marry?
b. how to find the one to marry?
c. will everyone find someone to marry?
d. is he/she the one?
as the list goes on... Simply because

1. God trusts our "common sense" and decisions
2. God wants each person to have a unique story and experience
3. God allows us to make mistakes and learn from them

Indeed, even all the hurts and the pains that we went through and are going to surpass in the future are making us better persons. The Bible is clear however on issues against:
i. premarital sex
ii. adultery
iii. homosexuality

He's very forgiving however, if we have already committed those things. It commanded us to:
  • follow Christ's example of how He loved His people, and that's how people should treat their spouses
  • love other people as much as we love ourselves (including our partners)
  • love even the enemies
All the other things that we have to consider are up to us. Being Christians does not mean exemption from the hardship or turbulence that will arise during marriage. Personalities are bound to crash and there would always be conflicts even with people who are really "in love" because one is entirely different from the other.

Photo credit: photo1 photo2 photo3

Continuation: Factors to consider when planning to get married - Second Part

3 comment(s):

Sedona said...

I wish I read this 5 years back..
Good one though.

pchi said...

thanks Sedona!

thinking about what I've written made me realize...

what if we never get there (being married with my bf now)?

well, whatever is God's will let it be

Gem said...

I too, am frankly disappointed with your early plans of marriage. I think other people who think that you'll be losing opportunities to get hooked may have experienced that loss when they also decided to get married themselves. Most married people enjoy lesser years of single life and enjoy or endure more years of married life.

Just speaking out from the practical side of things. On one note: "God allows us to make mistakes and learn from them" -
I just hope that the mistake would not turn out to be infidelity after the marriage.

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