Outburst

Forgive my silence for a long time. You just don't know what I have been through.

I am happy to announce that I just turned a year older. I celebrated my birthday last August 26.

It was a bittersweet moment for me. There were many things running in my head, but were hard to express in words. I was very grateful for all the undeserved blessings and regretful for all the wrong decisions I have made, which I have no chance to redo or undo.

Let me tell you a bad news; A week before my birthday, I lost a big sum of money. Don't ask me how much or what happened because I won't tell you. I just couldn't believe how everything was so blurry, so fast, I couldn't exactly recall the details.

It was a big loss for me since I worked so hard to earn that money but it just disappeared so quickly. But there were so many things I was able to reflect and realize because of it, which I believe, God allowed to happen so I can ponder on them.

I would have been so disappointed but how could I? All I could see around me are blessings and unmerited favor from the Almighty.

I am still able to behold and the beauty of the world. I can see faces of people and beautiful sceneries; I can read without any need for glasses or contact lenses. I didn't lose my sense of sight. I can still see.

I am still able to hear the sound of cars' engines, listen to my favorite comedian's wacky comments on TV and listen to my boyfriend whine about how painful it is for his eyes to gaze transfixed at the computer for a long time. Although the ENT doctor said that I am moderately deaf on right ear, I didn't lose my sense of hearing. I can still hear.

Imagine if I had an accident where I could be crippled, debilitated, or detained in bed for days or years. If that happens, I might not be able to walk or move my body. I just lost a certain amount of money but I didn't lose my mobility. I can still walk. I can still move.

Imagine if I got terribly sick, it would be too difficult for me or for my family. I don't know how it would feel like, but as for now, I am healthy, I have no sickness. I am blessed. I am thankful.

I didn't lose my job. I can still work. I can earn money and get so much more.

To add, here's what my boyfriend has to say:

"What else do you have to ask for? You have the love of your family; good health; a good job and best of all, you have me, your best husband to be."

Indeed, life's trials has become more bearable with him by my side. I guess I still have to remember that whatever God gives, He can take away; and whatever the circumstance is, I still have to praise Him.

I am thankful. I am truly grateful. I wish these words suffice how my heart really feels. God, I am so thankful.

photo credit: here